Wednesday, October 23 [ posted @ 2:28:00 PM ] pv i love you roque
thank you for tonight, it was wonderful
i will miss u so much when u r gone. please come back :(
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Monday, October 21 [ posted @ 5:10:00 PM ] pv ok i tink i will turn in now. goodnite, world
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[ posted @ 4:43:00 PM ] pv why m i still up at this hour?
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[ posted @ 2:50:00 PM ] pv White America
Intro:
America:
hahaha
We love you
(Jets flying overhead)
How many people are proud to be citizens of this beautiful country of ours?
The stripes and the stars for the rights of men who have died for the protect?
The women and men who have broke their necks for the freedem of speech the
United States Government has sworn to uphold
Yo, I want everyone to listen to the words of this song
Or so we're told...
Verse 1
I never woulda dreamed in a million years I'd see
so many mutha fuckin' people who feel like me
Who share the same views
And the same exact beliefs
It's like a fuckin' army marchin' in back of me
So many lives I touched
So much anger aimed at no perticular direction
Just sprays and sprays
Straight through your radio waves
It plays and plays
Till it stays stuck in ya head
For days and days
who woulda thought standin' in this mirror
Bleachin' my hair wit some Peroxide
Reachin' for a T-shirt to wear
That I would catapult to the fore-front of rap like this
How can I predict my words
And have an impact like this
I musta struck a chord wit somebody up in the office
'Cuz congress keeps tellin' me
I aint causin' nuttin' but problems
And now they sayin' I'm in trouble wit the Government
I'm lovin' it
I shoveled shit all my life
And now I'm dumpin' it on
Chorus
WHITE AMERICA
I could be one of ya kids
WHITE AMERICA
Little Eric looks just like this
WHITE AMERICA
Erica loves my shit
I go to TRL
Look how many hugs I get
Verse 2
Look at these eyes baby blue baby just like yaself
If they were brown
Shady lose shady sits on the shelf
But Shadys cute
Shady knew Shady's dimples would help
Make ladies swoon baby
(ooo baby)
Look at myself!
Lets do the math
If I was black I woulda sold half
I ain't have to graduate
From Lincoln High School to know that
But I can rap so fuck school
I'm too cool to go back
Gimme the mic
Show me where the fuckin' studio's at
When I was underground
No one gave a fuck I was white
No lables wanted to sign me
Almost gave up, I was like "Fuck it"
Until I met Dre
The only one who looked past
Gave me a chance
And I lit a fire up under his ass
Helped him get back to the top
Every fan black that I got
Was probly his
In exchange for every white fan that he's got
Like damn we just swapped
Sittin' back look at this shit wow
Im like "My skin, is it startin' to work to my benefit now?"
Chorus
Verse 3
See the problem is I speak to suburban kids
Who otherwise
Woulda never knew these words exist
These moms probly woulda never gave 2 squirts of piss
Till I created so much mutha fuckin' turbulence
Straight out the tube right into ya livin' rooms I came
And kids flipped
When they knew I was produced by Dre
That's all it took
And they were instantly hooked right in
And they connected wit me too 'cuz I looked like them
That's why they put my lyrics up under this microscope
Searchin' wit a fine toothed comb
Its like this rope waitin to choke
Tightenin' around my throat
Watchin' me while I write this like "I dont like this, NO!"
All I hear is
Lyrics lyrics constant controversy
Sponsors workin' round the clock
To try to stop my concerts early
Surely hip hop is never a problem
In Harlem only In Boston
After it bothered ya fathers
of daughters startin' to blossom
Now I'm catchin' the flack from these activists
When they raggin'
Actin' like I'm the 1st rapper to smack a bitch and say faggot
Shit
Just look at me like I'm ya closest pal
A poster child
the mutha fuckin' spokesman now!
Chorus
Outro
So to the parents of America
I am the damager aimed at little Erica
To attack her character
The ring leader of the circus of worthless pawns
Sent to lead the march right up to the steps of Congress
And piss on the lawns of the White House
To burn the casket and replace it with a parental advisory sticker
To spit liquor in the faces of this democracy of hipocracy
Fuck you Ms. Cheney
Fuck you Tipper Gore
Fuck you with the freeness of speech this divided states of embarrasment will
allow me to have
Fuck You
Hahaha! I'm just playin' america, you know I love you
dont mean nothin against ya yankies but...hes its all oh so true....
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[ posted @ 12:33:00 PM ] pv i tink i now know what love really means...all this while ive been stupid, naive, much too giving, much too dumb and stupid...not to say i regret the decisions ive made regarding my past relationships..after all, they were learning experiences and im really learning to pick up the pieces and not hate myself too much for being stupid and gullible....ive made mistakes, truth be told..but they were never meant to hurt, because i know im not a vindictive, evil, mean person...i just thought i was doing what was best/right at the time...in hindsight, i made the wrong decisions...
love is never selfish, never about expecting anything in return...its unconditional giving and acceptance...
sometimes you dont have to hear the words or see the actions..u just gotta feel or know that the other person does love you, and that is enuff..too often ive made the mistake of wanting and expecting the other party to tell me or show me that they loved me, n whatever they did or said, it never measured up to what i so desperately wanted to see or hear...not because i had unrealistically high expectations, not that i was unrealistically demanding...i am just a very insecure person....in all honesty, every guy ive been involved with has told me this, right from the start..so there is a truth to that right?..
so in other words, loving someone also starts with loving urself first..if u feel or think that u r unlovable...no matter how much the other person loves u..u will never believe him or her..u will never feel 100% loved...u will just resent and hate that u r never happy..n all this while u r waiting for ur guy or girl to tell u or show u what u want to hear or see..but of course that will never happen, because love isn't about "i love you"s or expensive dinners or flowers or jewelry...its about giving all you have to that person, and loving him or her for who he or she is..its about placing your happiness in his or her hands..being happy because he or she is happy....its not about you, its not about your feelings..its about the other person..the other persons happiness, welfare, health, well-being, feelings...
thank u roque for showing me what love is...you never had to tell me or teach me..all u did was accept me...u give me space, u let me be myself...u berated me whenever u felt it, because you wanted to let me know that its totally normal to be not perfect and u still would accept me...u told me off for eating too much, but laughed about it too and treated me no different..u r honest, and i love u for that...at the same time, u tell me what u want, and leave me to make up my own mind...
u give me confidence, u gave me my life back...u accept me and at the same time, invite me to keep growing, keep learning...u make me a better person, u want the best for me....
u dont smother me, u always encourage and support me no matter what...
we dont always agree, but its always ok with you that we are as different as day and night...for the first time ever, i see differences between a couple not as a hindrance to the relationship but something beautiful to be embraced, and more importantly, something to learn from and enrich your life with....
with you, i am constantly learning about myself and how its ok to be who i am...
u r the first wake up call in my life.
i understand what you have to do, and why you have to do it...at first i had a really difficult time accepting it, and again, hated myself, hated god, hated everything....asked myself "why? why? why?!!"
but now...
i call it 'silent love'
i accept it quietly and am grateful for the time we spent together...
no need for outlandish displays of love..or scenarios of overemotional/dramatic proportions....its the little things that really matter: the cute winks you give me and only me at the bar, the warm embraces from out of the blue, when you feed me with your chopsticks or spoon without me asking, the dangerous glare you give any guy who dare look my way, the protective way you cross the street slowly as you shoo me to go quickly, how you switch off the tv whenever i start to doze off because once i let you know casually how i hate having it on, the reckless abandon you call me 'baby' in the presence of anybody - your macho thug friends, my friends, my boss, your boss....
i dont need a guy who says or does the right thing, or the perfect thing...i just want a friend who loves and wants me for who i am....at the same time, he wants me to be the best person i can be, with or without him....
you know something..for the first time also, i love myself as i love you......ive never felt this way before.....being with you makes me genuinely happy..not just happy because i'm with you..but also because i'm happy with myself...
for all this, i promise to be happy for you and not be sad...to work towards being a better, more happy person, in the same way you re doing for not urself, but raf and roxanne....
yuen fan?..yea, yuen fan indeed =)
thank you, baby.
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[ posted @ 8:14:00 AM ] pv What Sign of Affection Are You? kiss on the lips - you're sweet and simple but quite daring. you move for the kill confidently knowing the other person wants the same thing. brought to you by Quizilla #
Sunday, October 20 [ posted @ 12:34:00 PM ] pv men always take advantage of women..n we put up with that
life sucks
i cant stand to fly
im not that naive
im just out to find
the better part of me
im more than a bird
im more than a plane
im more than some pretty face
beside a train
and its not easy to be me
i wish that i could cry
fall upon my knees
find a way to lie
bout a home ill never see
it may sound absurd
but thats all that i need
even heroes have the right to bleed
i may be disturbed
but won't you concede
even heroes have the right to dream
n its not easy to be me
up, up and away, away from me
well its all right
you can all sleep sound tonight
im not crazy...or anything
i cant stand to fly
im not that naive
men werent meant to ride
with clouds between their knees
im only a man
no silly red sheet
diggin for kryptonite on this one way street only a man, no phony red sheet
looking for...special things inside of me
inside of me
inside of me
yeah, inside me
inside of me
im only a man
no phony red sheet
im only a man
looking for a dream
im only a man
no phony red sheet
and its not easy...
its not easy
to be me
> ::: the unforgiven ::: >
new blood joins this earth
and quickly hes subdued
thru constant pain disgrace
the young boy learns their rules
with time the child draws in
this whipping boy done wrong
deprived of all this thoughts
the young man struggles on
and on hes known
a vow unto his own
that never from this day
his will theyll take away
what ive felt what ive known
never shined thru in what ive shown
never be never see
wont see what might have been
what i felt what ive known
never shined thru in what ive shown
never be never me
so i dub thee unforgiven
they dedicate their lives
to running all of his
he tries to please them all
this bitter man he is
thruout his life the same
hes battled constantly
this fight he cannot win
a tired man they see
he no longer cares
the old man then prepares
to die regretfully
that old man here is me
what ive felt what ive known
never shined thru in what ive shown
never be never see
wont see what might ve been
what ive felt what ive known
never shined thru in what ive shown
never free never me
so i dub thee unforgiven
what ive felt what ive known
never shined thru in what ive shown
never be never see
wont see what might ve been
what ive felt what ive known
never shined thru in what ive shown
never free never me
so i dub thee unforgiven
01 eat right |
02 get a real job |
03 deal with debts |
04 start a savings plan |
05 always be reading at least one book at all times |
06 read the paper everyday |
07 save up for a car |
08 write letters weekly |
09 think positively |
10 move out, get own place |
11 volunteer at peta |
12 make parents proud of me |
13 be happy |
14 be healthy |
15 focus on life goals |
16 be happy
> ::: whats up ::: >
march 04 | movie date w veni 06 | veni + jericks 9th yr anniversary; AS leaves for sydney for good 11 | AS bday 13 | peta dinner 14 | jericks bday; peta demo at kfc - lan kwai fong, noon 15 | bkfair at german swiss intl school 17 | mom n dads 30th wedding anni 20 | moms bday; meatout 2003 22 | bar hopping w veni? 23 | spca pet walk 2003 - tai tam reservoir, 10a-noon 24 | d-day, 1st year anniversary
april 04 | 9.30am job interv; 2-6pm meet w job agent; first bellydancing class 7.30pm 07 | alfreds bday 07-09 | asia for animals conference 14 | anti-dog/cat eating demo worldwide 19 | ryans bday 27 | unc romy's bday 20 | dads bday
> ::: to do ::: >
. pics on yahoo
. write up a letter to student loans
. send stuff to shah
. sort -ves/pics
. get lenses n glasses
. smth for veni
. jinns vet appt
. dimp, sonys bday pressie
. send kan her stuff
. compile AL/AR ngo list
. head over to cath shop
. post tatt's stuff
. do tim's arts/craft
. trade amex flyer points
. pick up license ($1k), deadline jan 04
. save hotmail sent mail
. burn teroh stuff on cd
. change info of all online accounts
. sunday complaint letter
. read za's blog
. c the doc (maybe?)
. change blog template
. stuff to give sony/dimp
. draft out stans speech
> ::: about moi ::: >
kiara on good days, killkiara on bad days |
a libran in my 20s |
a dragon baby |
vegan and proud |
born in the phils |
moved to hk 20+ yrs ago |
sing used to b my 2nd home
for reasons id rather (but cant) forget |
i have a soft spot for indo |
used to be in love and obssessed with tatto, whos now married |
currently has the hots for/falling in love with stan, a seattle boy
> ::: all i am ::: >
insecure | emotional | disenchanted, disillusioned and disappointed | supersensitive |
melancholic by nature | fragile and easily broken | stubborn as a bull | always restless |
pensive to the point of paranoia | unhealthily sentimental | demonstrative of my feelings | openly affectionate |
i dont forget easily | i listen to my heart more than my head | cold and distant |
i dont like nor trust people | idealistic but hopeless | hoping but pessimistic |
pure in heart but tainted in spirit
> ::: favorite things ::: >
walking barefoot | sky gazing at night | being disorganized | babies (age <6) |
giving presents to ppl i love | clubbing (and drinking) | the
taste of blood | sitting by the pier when im down | really late nights | telling myself
that im a failure, so that when i beat the odds im pleasantly surprised | hugs | being a
girly-girl when im in love | being treated like a girly girl when im in love |
dressing up for the occasion | peanuts and peanut candy | candles and incense sticks | smelling and
kissing the back of my mans neck | spiritual conversations | the smell of vanilla
> ::: pet peeves ::: >
people who chew with their mouths open (esp gum) | festive events esp bdays and
xmas | having to throw stuff away | asians/wannabe gweis with fake pseudo
yanky/pommy/etc accents | nouveau-riche bastards (and bitches) who think theyre all that |
when animals suffer | all this hype over article 23 of the basic
law | people who teach their pets dumb tricks | sorority-type airheads | guys wearing
tight jeans/pants | my hair just after its washed | the sight/smell of raw meat |
being broke | takin cat naps in the afternoon (i wake up real cranky) | lies,
dishonesty, fakeness for the sake of formality
> ::: good gurl ::: >
my honesty | generosity | im very dedicated and devoted | im not materialistic |
im earthy | im true and genuine to myself and the ppl around me | i dont play mindgames
nor bullshit | im environmentally conscious and socially aware | im painstakingly
meticulous in my
thoughts so im never caught unaware in the end | my inate sense of compassion |
im unafraid | im not a sellout (and will never be one)
> ::: bad bitch ::: >
my honesty | prone to xtreme bouts of mood swings, depresssion and self-hate |
i think too much and feel too much | i do stupid things when i feel like it |
im neurotic | im unforgiving | i dont have a sense of humor | i spend too much money |
im always suspicious of people | i procrastinate | when i m anxious, afraid or nervous,
i bite my nails till they bleed | i get too attached to ppl too soon | im a crybaby |
my belief in the existence of a perfect world | my desperate attempts to find that
perfect world
> ::: i want ::: >
to be understood | all animals to be free | animals to not be human fodder | vivisection, hunting, fishing,
fur, circuses, zoos, pet stores, etc banned for good | no
racial/ gender/ ethnic/ class/ religious/ political barriers between us |
honesty from everyone around me | inner peace | true, everlasting love |
to feel excited that im alive | to never lose my integrity | to live simply,
feel deeply, love openly and express honestly
> ::: all the world's a stage ::: >
AS |
first love..almost got engaged to him but i messed up. together for 5+ yrs..the most
wonderful, decent, understanding, kind man in the universe...
whoever marries this guy is the luckiest girl on the planet
jinger |
aka jinn/jinney..much-loved baby, reason of my existence, purpose of my being
kitty |
rip baby girl - ure never forgotten...i love you
roque |
ex-love...came into my life, loved me, turned my life around..then
left for the states suddenly. currently mia but i will always be grateful
to him for saving me..i hold him close to my heart
stan |
current fixation and obsession..object of my affections and my hearts desire.
lives millions of miles away and i miss him terribly :( sexy, studly, gorgeous and has
a beautiful mind
tatto (tatt) |
the love of my life? we could not be together due to circumstances beyond
our control..the creator-destroyer of my life
tim |
my kiddo with tatto. turned 3 in jan 2003..health and happiness to you always
little 'un
tom |
online friend extraordinaire..a truly one of a kind kind of guy
veni |
dancing queen, girl of many men's (and women's?) fantasies,
die-hard gackt fan, anime freak, ardent meat eater...also: best friend/ girlfriend/
life saver/ partner in crime/ personal life coach/ motivator/ unpaid shrink/ punching
bag of yours truly
> ::: current state ::: > updated on 15 apr
local time 01:32 (+8.00 GMT)
wearing | blk baby tee, green hipsters
doing | chillin...i m *so* tired :(
watching | nothing
listening to | nothing
eating | had wholewheat crackers last
drinking | hmm tink gna make myself some kunyit asam now
reading |
1.
our looks, our lives by nancy friday (harper)
2.
the amazing true story of a teenage single mom by katherine arnoldi (hyperion)
3. teen love on relationships by kimberly kirgerger (hci teens)
4. the perfectly contented meat-eater's guide to vegetarianism by mark warren reinhardt (continuum)
I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge -
That myth is more potent than history.
I believe that dreams are more powerful than facts -
That hope always triumphs over experience -
That laughter is the only cure for grief.
And I believe that love is stronger than death.
~ Robert Fulghum
If you think your love would not be welcomed do not voice it. For it be slient it
can be endured, and guarded, like a flame.
~ Antoine de Saint-Exupery
Its best to not ask the questions of answers u dont wanna know,
or answers which u know will only bring u pain.
~ me
sometimes you just have to learn to let things go.
its hard.
you let go though.
don't dwell on something until it eats you away. try to see people in the now,
and what they mean. not by things they've done in the past.
~ rola
Love is passion. Obsession. Someone you can't live without.
Someone you fall head over heels for. Find someone you can love like crazy,
and will love you the same way back. Listen to your heart. No sense in life
without this. To make the journey without fallin deeply in love, you haven't
lived a life at all. You have to try, because if you haven't tried, then you
haven't really lived.
~ from "Meet Joe Black"
Every place you land in life has a reason and a lesson.
~ Tori Amos
One must still have chaos in oneself to be able to give birth to a dancing star.
The first step to finding love is to look inside yourself for it.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change,
courage to change the things i can, n wisdom to know the difference.
Life is a tragedy for those who feel, and a comedy for those who think
The greatest power we have is the power of choice. It's an actual fact that if you've
been moping in unhappiness, you can choose to be joyous instead and by effort,
lift yourself to joy. If you tendto be fearful, you can overcome that misery by
choosing to have courage. Even in the darkest grief you have choice. The whole
trend and quality of anyone's life is determined in the long run by the choices
that are made.
~ Norman Vincent Peale
If you have the courage to love, you survive.
~ Maya Angelou
We are healed from suffering only by experiencing it in the full.
~ Marcel Proust
To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three parts dead.
~ Bertrand Russell
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my shitty intel celeron, without which i wud not be blogging today
