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Saturday, March 1 [ posted @ 1:06:00 PM ] pv well jst replid to stans 49k email..he shard his email xchange w ryan w me, n askd me for my thoughts...mainly it has to do w his club, re: pr/marketin issues...also, ryan put down a quote for him to tink abt n stan askd me my 2 cents...hmmm..interesting, the both of them. # [ posted @ 10:02:00 AM ] pv i cant help but remm how i was this time last yr, my state of mind, the state of all my affairs - personal n otherwise....im not only angry at myself but sad at how things ve evolvd, most of its got to do w tatto n me..how smth so grand in scale n magnitude deteriorated to...somthin so paltry, pathetic n unimportant ..the thought of how we once were brings me to tears. wat happened? how did it happen? these days whn me n him chat a v small part of me remms our history n then it wants to embrace him again, w all my heart n w all my world....but i resist. only bcos i cant risk bein rejctd, it wud totally devastate me. im no longer who i was b4, in terms of my mental state, my perceptn of the world, ppl n myself in gen, in terms of my thought processes..i feel ive died, im more complacent, passive than ive ever been all my life. i now take wats given to me, n this frightns me coz wat if im settlin for 2nd best?..i ve no ambition, i feel weak n defeated...i feel beaten down n tired .. n worst of all - ive lost all my passion. i want to live passionately again, n i certainly want to love passionately again...but i fear its lost forever n i will never find it...tatto fed me. he clothed me. he bathed me. he was my source of life. n now that ive lost him, ive lost evything. ive nothing left. ure rite - wat doenst kill us only makes us stronger. but only bcos it makes us more cynical..more wary...more cautious. wat if i dont allow myself to loosen up, open up? wat if deep inside, ive subconsciously taught myself to close off the outside world? wat if ive subconscioudly learned to live on my own, for myself n nobody else? not out of selfishness but out of fear? fear of heartache n pain..fear of it ending? unfinishd thought # [ posted @ 7:56:00 AM ] pv 5 days..ive bn sick 5 whole days...bn pumpin meself w all the meds i can get my hands on, which probly xplains y ive bn sleepin 15+ hrs a day. still in no mood to b on the pc so will b on a hiatus some more, until ive fully recovered. # Thursday, February 27 [ posted @ 5:51:00 PM ] pv free ur mind - for da love of animals # [ posted @ 5:40:00 PM ] pv theres blood in my spitum..bright red blood # [ posted @ 11:03:00 AM ] pv then again....this line was probly meant for u but i refuse to see it, idiot me "i thought i lost u somewhere, but u were never really ever there at all" - here is gone, googoodolls guess wat, i ve a very painful headache now. or maybe its migraine..n all i did was think of u. perhaps i shud run far far away from u n ve nothin to do w u. u dont need me to care for u nemore. u have that bitch. then y do u keep comin bk into my life. i dint start calling u dammit. y did u ve to start callin me n shit. u probly jst want me when u need an ego boost. stupid girl that i am, i always give in. im always tellin u wat u want to hear. STUPID me. u play me like a fuckin piano all the time. n the tragic thing is, i let u. this is sick. i cant tink of this..im gettin a friggin headache. i cant afford to rite now. im sick enuff. fuck u, tatto. # [ posted @ 10:56:00 AM ] pv im so sick n tired of caring for u n havin it backfire on me. i hate hearing ur excuses. i hate forgiving u all the time even more. u just dont have the right to hurt me all the time then give me some bullshit excuse to defend ur actions. no, its not ok to verbally abuse me just bcos u had a bad day at work. no, its not ok to say smth hurtful to me just bcos ure feelin under the weather. all i want from u is fair treatment, yet u make me feel so guilty for that. is that really too much to ask? m i really overdemanding if all i want from u is some consideration n less arrogance? quit treating me like a fuckin doormat. im not a doormat. im not someone u can abuse, then get away with it. im not someone u can hurt intentionally. im not someone u pay attentn to when ure in the pits, but conveniently forget about when things r going ur way. stop being so self centered for once. stop bein so damn inconsiderate. i m always gna b there for u in ne way i can, yes, i will even let u use me to the point of pathetic-ness on my part, but no matter - i love u too much to not let u. but please, can u at least try to not make me cry when u choose to take advantage of this? its really painful..its really hard for me. im not a yoyo. u cant make me thrilled one minute, n devastated n torn the next. im not a light switch either. u cant turn to me whenever u want me, then ignore my existence whenever u dont. i dont want to hate u. if i start to hate u, i dont think i can love neone ever again. its bcos the love we shared once upon a time was so perfect that i still believe in love now. its bcos ur love was perfect i still believe in love. if i hate u, then to me love is dead. love is nothing. love doenst exist. i need to take my meds now. n sleep. n cry myself to sleep. im crying now. everytime u fuck me up this way, i end up hating myself instead of you. # [ posted @ 10:27:00 AM ] pv i did a crazy thing today..red some of tatts old mails..well not jst ne mail, but mail he wrote when he was still in love w me..durin the time i was away...when i learnd to move on, whn i learnd to return him to his rightful owner - that bitch who, since day one, was intent on breakin us up..well she succeeded of course, but not becos i let her..but rather she blackmaild tatto w the most important thing in the world to him...no not money, but tim...money is that bitch's no.1 priority, which is y she was intent on gettin bk together w tatto..well that n pride i guess..she d b humiliatd big time if she dint end up w tatto, after all the fracas she causd...n well tatto, durin the time we were together, mentiond plenty of times how money minded she was..that she always felt they were a perfect match coz they were both so well off - altho apprntly shes more wealthy than tatto is...neway, so whn tatto said no, coz he was over her n also he had me...she resortd to the lowest, cheapest, most vile tactic: she made him choose tween me n tim...how dare she....wel no need to figure out wat he decided...n im glad he chose wat he did, bcos it was the right choice, it was the rite thing to do..there was no way id want to ve it otherwise.....but i hope to god this bitch suffers for this..in this life or the nex..but dear god, please give this bitch the punishment she deserves....in doin wat she did - in her selfishness, in her evilness - she destroyed at least 3 ppls lives: tattos, mine, n her own husbands. i dont tink i hate neone as much as i hate her..i dont tink ill ever hate neone the way i hate her...bcos nobody, i swear nobody, can hurt me the way she did....i dont mean she hurt me whn she took tatto away from me, but she hurt me when she hurt tatto when she gave him her ultimatum..i cant imagine wat she put tatto thru, askin him to pick tween tim n me...the mindgames, the emotional blackmail...n now hes destined to live a life of unhappiness bcos shes trappd him into marryin her...the vile, vile bitch...i remember so clearly whn tatt was drunk once, he said to me thru tears, "uknow...marrying her is like a death sentence..."..he cudntve said it ne better..shes jst sentncd him to a lifetime of lovelessness...shes basicaly pointd a gun to his head. horrible witch. i dont tink the engl dictionary has the rite words to describe such a...subject matter..this..piece of SHIT is just that: a piece of shit. i hate her n will always hate her for destroyin his life. for destroyin my life. for tearin us apart. for makin me lose hope in the gdness of ppl. for makin me lose faith in sisterhood n the feminist cause. i hope to god she pays for this...im not into revenge n shit, but for the destructn shes causd...for the times tattos told me that hes got no choice, that his path has already bn laid out for him, n the worst thing thts ever come out of his mouth: that he rather die than b well coz he doenst wana complicate his own life, nor mine, nor hers - i pray to god this woman pays for this...if i cud id rip her eyeballs out n make her suffer the way shes made me n tatto suffer...its sick that she got wat she wantd, tht shes emergd the victor amidst this mess...i hate the world bcos of her..i tink the world is a shitty place bcos of her..i dint do nethin wrong....she did evything wrong from day one. she destroyed me. she destroyed tatto. she destroyed me n tatto. shes impaired my way of thinkin forever. i hate her as much as neone cud hate nother person. rite now i feel my blood boilin, but also tears wellin up in my eyes. out of anger, out of sadness. coz i know i lost someone i love so much bcos of her...she played dirty...we cudve playd this fair n square..but she played dirty. the dirty cunt. she played dirty. # [ posted @ 8:39:00 AM ] pv FUCK FLASHBACKS # [ posted @ 8:32:00 AM ] pv tom, im not gna b in ard for a while.....for some reason im tinkin abt a lot of things...i gues its got smth to do w wat happ last yr at abt this time.....whn i ended up in the hosp... mar, apr n may r very very bad mths for me..esp april. im really dreadin april..really really really really dreadin it..im lookin at gettin nother tattoo in april if only to help myself get thru the month..yes pain therapys in order once again. march i shud b getting some piercings..may, well we ll c..maybe more tattoos. i feel like shit at the moment, at the thought of so many things. i m on the verge of tears :( im off to walk jinn. i need some air or ill end up crying tonite, n i dont want that. i havent seriously thought abt wat happ last yr in a gd few mths now n i dont wana start tonite..i guess the one year anni of my near death exp is comin up, n is makin me think so many things.......so many disturbin things. i feel real fucked up now. i can only blame myself for evything...the mess im in...the mess i was in last yr...the mess i put my fam in..the shit i brought on to evyone ard me...how i draggd veni to the pits w me...ohgod i so hate myself for doin this to evyone ard me...i cant blieve i put them thru this... panic attack, panic attack...SHIT. :( # [ posted @ 8:21:00 AM ] pv fuck u fuck u fuck u fuck u fuck u i need some air........goin out for a walk w jinn. :( # [ posted @ 8:05:00 AM ] pv the STUPID n SAD thing is, i cant bring myself to b stomp off or abuse him or tell him to fuck off.....shit, i still care for him so damn much...part of me still loves him...GODAMMIT....i still love the guy, no matter wat he says or does..... # [ posted @ 7:57:00 AM ] pv [Private] You say to Guest:tuuthy: i gues if i ever did mean smth then u wud know it wud still mattr to me how ure doin these days [private] Guest:tuuthy speaks privately: i said i am ok [private] Guest:tuuthy speaks privately: im goin to bed now [private] Guest:tuuthy speaks privately: good nite [Private] You say to Guest:tuuthy: stop it [Private] You say to Guest:tuuthy: u know how ill feel if u leave this way i dunno why the fuck i still bother with u u asshole....u arrogant son of a bitch # [ posted @ 6:22:00 AM ] pv theres smth thats makin me mad n irritated at tatto tonite...cud it b that after so many days of not seein him he hasnt even bothered to drop me an email to chk to see if im alive or not?..or cud it b that in jst a cpl wks time itll b exactly one year frm the day i..almost died for him...boy i cannot blieve it really did happ, i had a totally diffrent mindset then..whn i look bk n tink abt it i cant blieve that it was me...i remm it like it was yesterday..this time last yr i was a wholly diffrent person...i was a sad person, a confusd person....i was sick. really sick...i needed help, some serious help...sigh.. i dont like the months of jan, feb, mar n april..n may either...jan is tims bday, feb is tattos bday n vday also..march is when i was in the hosp coz of tatt..april is..........i cant even bring myself to write it down :( i tink april is the worst month....april is when tatto slept w his ex, on her bday :(( he hid it frm me until may, when i askd him how it went..not so much that i xpctd nethin wrong to ve taken place that day, it was jst idle conversatn..so whn he told me that he slept w her - i remm him tellin me w o a hint of remorse even....i broke down n ended up in the hosp the 2nd time round...that day in may whn he fessed up n when i chkd in the hosp, it also happ to b tatts dads bday..sigh. shit day. shit month. for the rest of my life i wont ever forget her birth date or even worse, how tatt cheated on me w her...coincidentaly enuff her bday is jst a day after my dads bday...so in effect my dads bday is ruined too, jst coz of wat he did..i will always hate him for this..for ruinin my dads bday, forever...for makin me remember the bitches bday too coz he cheated w her on that day...i remm evy word he told me abt her bday, i remm evy detail of wat happ that day, i remm evything..how it happ, where it happ, wat words were xchangd tween them..every fuckin detail..to this day he dfends his actns sayin they did not finish the deed so it does not count...but the only reason they cud not finish the deed is only coz tim woke up n started to cry..hello?? that even makes things worse, knowin that they were rockin the bed so damn hard the little boy got frightend n burst into tears...n to tink it took his little boys tears to make him stop n c the stupidity n folly n insanity of his ways.......my blood boils at the thought. my eyes brim w tears at the thought.....i tink i dont wana write nemore, im startin to feel the pain..n i can feel the tears comin..it still hurts when i tink abt all this..no altho its bn a yr it doenst hurt ne less, the pain is still the same...it really really hurts. honestly, whn i tink of all this i m compelld to never speak to tatto again, or c him again, or ve nethin to do w him...my state rite now? to disappear on him..for not carin im this sick...for cheatin on me the way he did last yr...for the way he cheatd on me..for his arrogance..for his lyin ways...for his double standards....for his selfishness... im really dreadin april...mebe by then ill ve cookd up a plan..mebe i wont b here in hk..mebe ill b away..mebe ill b bz doin stuff...i know i will never forget wat happ last yr in april, i can only hope i hold on to my commonsense n that i wont do nethin stupid when the day comes.... fuck u tatto for hurting me so much....rest assured i will not b around for u in april..n may..n phaps june n july too...in fact, mebe uve already heard the last of me....i detest u. # [ posted @ 3:45:00 AM ] pv Warning Bat your eyes girl, be otherworldly Count your blessings, seduce a stranger What's so wrong with being happy? Kudos to those who see through sickness, yeah Over and over and over and over, ooh She woke in the morning She knew that her life had passed her by She called out a warning "Don't ever let life pass you by" --------> I suggest we learn to love ourselves before it's Made illegal <------------ When will we learn, When will we change Just in time to See it all come down Those left standing Will make millions Writing books on the way it should have been She woke in the morning She knew that her life had passed her by Then she called out a warning, warning "Don't ever let life pass you by" Floating in this cosmic jacuzzi We are like frogs oblivious to the water starting to boil No one flinches, we all float face down When she woke in the morning She knew that her life had passed her by And she called out a warning, warning Don't ever let life pass you by, pass you by by incubus, they also sang I Miss You To see you when I wake up is a gift I didn't think could be real To know that you feel the same as I do is a three-fold, utopian dream. You do something to me that I can't explain. So would I be out of line if I said, I miss you I see your picture, I smell your skin on the empty pillow next to mine. You have only been gone ten days, but already I'm wasting away. I know I'll see you again whether far or soon. But I need you to know that I care and I miss you. for stan..... # Wednesday, February 26 [ posted @ 9:21:00 PM ] pv hmm ive slept more the past 2 days than i ve slept all the 7 days b4 that put together..n i still wna zZzzz some more..... # Tuesday, February 25 [ posted @ 9:55:00 PM ] pv im no wuss but...evything jst hurts so bad im on the brink of tears :( # [ posted @ 8:20:00 PM ] pv i tink ill sleep some more............ # [ posted @ 8:15:00 PM ] pv not shockingly, im sick...i spent most of yest sleepin n even then i was in so much pain coz my head felt like it was bein crushd by 2 metal plates...im coughin out green goo n altho i slept 16 hrs straight last nite i still feel like huddlin under the covers..had to drag myself outta bed to throw up jst cpl mins bk...evy single joint in my body feels theyre gna snap ne minute...evythin hurts :( ive already cancld tomrows class in the am...if poss i wana not go to work today too but i know they wont let me coz they dont ve sub teachers.... the ex came by last nite n i ended up sleepin..i feel pretty bad coz we d plannd to go out for a snack...eventualy it was past midnite whn he headed home. we did end up goin for a quick bite but i was v shit company coz i bitchy n cranky n whingy..whn we got home he tuckd me in bed n he left. gta shower n get ready for work now..i can barely stand :( # Monday, February 24 [ posted @ 8:28:00 PM ] pv gna take a catnap for 30mins then go for a walk w jinn...then im off to teach at the other place..until friggin 7pm..ugh. # [ posted @ 8:25:00 PM ] pv my eyeballs feel like theyre bein suckd into the sockets...whoa baby # [ posted @ 4:04:00 PM ] pv a gunshot blast tween the eyes, point blank please im so tired im delirious..heh # [ posted @ 4:01:00 PM ] pv YAY, stan wrote..n its good news! =) he meant it in the past tense..lol. # [ posted @ 1:03:00 PM ] pv i feel like the insides of my head ve been a-bombd...i have a massive, xcruciatin headache rite now..i feel like throwing up...this is so not worth it. i m beginin to regret takin up the offer, esp since after tomrow they r gna let me go..i swear to god if tht happs im gna make a circus outta it. i ve not bn sleepin much..smth is up w my body clock. stress? pressure? wat from tho? the stupid issue re: stan? or is it abt the ex leavin for gd on weds? then theres tatto who ive not seen in 4 days..i gta admit tht im missin him. sigh.. i was sposd to go to the spca today to pic up jinns meds..i dont tink ill b able to make it tomorw either, its a death wish to b walkin the streets in this conditn...so mebe weds? sigh...hopefuly tomowr after the mornin class ill head bk here n take a snoozey..my nex class is in the pm at abt 3 i tink so i shud b able to catch min 2 hrs of shuteye im spposd to have dinn w AS tomorw but we had a huge fallin out today..so mebe we wont c each other nemore b4 he leaves for sydney. which is fine by me, sunday we had a great time n it was like 2 friends muckin abt..we dint talk abt nethin serious, it was jst abt 2 friends goin out together havin a gd time...we took pics n stuff, he prom to send me copies.. i tink i wud like these pics, its bn a long time since him n i chilld as nothin more than buddies n this is how id like to remember him by...we had a late lunch then went to the beaches..walkd on the sand n climbd rocks n stuff...on the way bk we both fell asleep on the boat..it was good fun that day. ok off to beddy...hm stan has not written yet. im worried. fuck i hve a migraine. # [ posted @ 11:17:00 AM ] pv im awake. :( i wana keep sleeping.......i still hvent done nothin :( ouch my legs r hurting like nething too..sigh....... # [ posted @ 9:38:00 AM ] pv a tribute to friendship To Meet Old Friends by Helen Steiner Rice Somehow, meeting old friends and embracing them with your heart is like the 'warmth of a home fireside' and the 'loveliness of a rose garden.' All the vexations and irritations of a busy day were softened by the remembrance of that 'shining hour' we spent together this morning. somtimes u forget the importance of friends until u meet up w an old one..n its like time never passd, arguments nev happ...its like ure kids again goin thru lifes tribulatns together..laughin along the way, holdin each others hands along the way...comfortin each other n blievin in each other..oh the sweetness of youth..the innocence, the pleasant ignorance...discoveries made together, the curiosity n wonder n awe...learnin together...growin up together.... the world is such a happy place whn seen thru the eyes of a child or youth...purity n cleanliness in the world n ppl ard us..no hate, no judgments, no bigotry..jst simple, untainted happiness....all of us lookin fwd to adulthood.....waitin to b set free.... n now that we re here theres only disillusnment n tiredness n disapointment i wish i were a kid again. dont ever forget abt ur friends...they r earths guardian angels.... shoutout to dimp: thanks for tonite..i realy had fun...it was nice n liberatin bein a kid again.... # [ posted @ 9:16:00 AM ] pv this is so crazy..my legs r givin way, they r ready to collapse at ne minute..i jst got home, phew its past 1am n ive bn on my feet all day n nite, w o so much as a restbreak..i stil got stuff to do for tomorws class but im so tired im gna sit here motionless for 15mins i tink.... i did go to that interv in the afternoon....she offerd me the position but she said we ll c how tomorw goes first. i ve a feelin theyre jst gna use me once then find someone to replace me, the only reason she gave me the jobs coz theres no fuckin way theyre gna find someone at this short notice, so in effect theyre jst usin me i guess..well whn i walkd in the first qstn was "where r u from" n i said "i knew it wud come to this"..but her engl was so bad she dint undertstand, wat a pity...after i showd her all my transcripts n shit shes like "how bout u sign the contract now n ill let u know by tonite if u got the job or not"..hello? wat a stupid bitch, she obviously wantd to entrap me, in case they dont find nebody by today theyll ve me as a backup/reserve..how low of her...so i said w a raised voice "but really, wat is the issue here, y cant u tell me now if i got the positn or not??" hahaha..she said "ok how bout i make a few calls rite now, give me 10 mins"..i knew she was gna tell the school that im not white, do they still want me or not? well whn she got bk she said ok as long as my phonics is ok, n i swear to god, i cud b speakin to her in thai n she wudnt even know it coz her engl is jst so bad..how dare she tell me im not qualified..of course its the race issue, of course its racism..its downrite racism..well lucky for her she dint q put it so xplicitly, had she told me directly they had probs w my skin color i wudve lambastd her, b4 askin for her bzness reg no. n name n all that, n yes ure damn rite id lodge a formal complaint against her so tomorw i gta b there at 9..well class starts at 9.30 but of cos since i dunno wat its gna b like n wat resources they ve i shud b there at least 30mins earlier to chk out the place, rearrange the furniture if need b...i also ve no friggin idea how to get there, its abt 8 statns away so i gta leave by 8 at the v latest..sigh :( i m soooo dreadin wakin up this early..mons n tues r spposd to b my best days of the wk coz i get to wake up later..but now, blah. i havent prepard nothin yet so i tink for the nex cpl hrs im gna b plannin, drawin, cuttin, stickin, etc..shit, its only gna b for one hr n the kids r gna b aged tween 2 n 3..wtf can u teach em at that age?? stupid woman said i shud prepare notes..im like "umm at their age i dont tink they can even hold a pencil, much less read?" dumbass bitch. so after the interv i hikd to the train statn for my class at 5, n after class i thought i shud head to the lib for ideas for tomorws class..took 2 trains then walkd approx 10mins to the library but when i got there the damn lib was closed already..fuckin hell it was only 7..i had had enuff, coz my feet n toes were killin me (the shoes i wore today were a major pain in the ass) plus i was hungry, tired n stressd out...so i jst stood there outside the libs closd doors, jst waitin for nothin in particular...i jst wantd the world to stop rite there n then...i shut down for 15mins b4 i headed bk to the train station, to get to nother library...sigh. so i walkd 10more mins in my horrible shoes, took the train .. n walkd 15-20mins more..n voila i arrive at the lib w barely 30mins to spare b4 closin time..so i rush like an idiot, n of course by the time they were kickin evyone out i had NOTHING. i was panickin like shit..sigh. eventualy i gave in n left the place, defeated n tired, ready to go home n zzzzzz... then dimp calls frm outta the blue: shes bored n wants me to come over..heck im knackerd as shit but i know if i go home ill jst zzzz, n also i hvent seen her in a long time so y not..i go over to her place, we have some aloo gobi - yummmm - n watch a video, talk abt the good ol days, we laughed, we talkd, we laughd some more..some points it was hilarious as we recountd our school days, bk whn we were yng n innocent n stupid lol.... got home jst b4 1am, i walk jin..n here i m..still not yet dressd for bed..sigh. i tink ill take a nap first b4 startin work.... oh yea roy calld today many times, we had a talk..he strikes me as someone who really cares actualy, hes sincere n all..the lingo barrier is a huge one tho, he can barely manage to phrase together a sentence..but he tries so hard..in a way i feel bad ive bn avoidin him all this while, not coz i dont wana meet him but rather ive bn so tired n bz...i know he tinks im avoidin him coz i dont like him or watever...if only he understood my situation: ie the ex is leavin hk for good so ive had to spend some time w him..then theres stress frm school..n also i wana b home nite times durin the wk to watch tv..so i told him we can go out mebe this fri or sat. we will c..hes like a lost sheep, doenst ve many friends n doenst know wat hes doin w his life..broken fam, neglectd, so hes on his own an awful lot... dint get to blog today coz fuckin blogger was down n no stan hasnt written..hmm i wonder if i scard him off w that email i sent cpl days ago..sigh. gna take a 15min snooze or watever......rite now i feel my legs buzzin...im so fuckin tired, someone cut off my legs please. # Sunday, February 23 [ posted @ 12:21:00 PM ] pv [Private] You say to Guest:jm: but that gdbye speech was preposterous [private] Guest:jm speaks privately: what do u mean??? [Private] You say to Guest:jm: as i said, id rather u ve left me w o sayin a word than give me that pathetic monolog [Private] You say to Guest:jm: wat on earth for? to feel beter abt urself? to justify to urself tht its a gd ting to not b friends w me? [private] Guest:jm speaks privately: sigh [private] Guest:jm speaks privately: u always see that wrost of me [Private] You say to Guest:jm: thts y i have a blog tom...coz if i wana alleviate myself frm guilt then im gna rant to nobody in particular [Private] You say to Guest:jm: if i wana defend my pathetic actns..then ill say it to nobody in particular [Private] You say to Guest:jm: some ppl they choose to "b honest/open" for the wrong reasons..jst to feel btr abt emselves so i spilld my guts out to tom tonite, abt how upset i was over his email frm last wk..it was cool, i feel much better now that he knows...id bn carryin this tension for a while now...its only rite hes aware of how i feel/felt..its only rite that he feel bad abt this too at least...at the knowledge tht he hurt me...it turns out he nev thought id b affectd so gravely, but i did try to make him c things frm my end...eventualy he began to c where i was comin frm...he understood how he had hurt me...n he accptd that he disappointd me so we workd things out, i feel so much more relieved..n happy..hehehh...plus our friendships deepened further, its gone up one level i tink....i admitd a few embarrassin details n so did he..so all in all it was an honest, open dialog. im so glad we talkd gna zzZz now. bn workin on smth all nite so dint blog..ohwell tomorw i got an interv, but in the mornin i gota help my lil bro do smth as i promised him..so i guess we re lookin at no sleep again tonite :( # [ posted @ 6:37:00 AM ] pv  click here to find out which asian action superstar you are! You are Jet Li. you are a star crossed lover. your tastes for woman are sometimes beyond ur reach. you like to break all the rules and yet honesty is one of ur main priorities. you sometimes hurt yourself. even kick the living *bleep* out of yourself. but dont worry it's only yourself from an alternate-parallel universe. # [ posted @ 6:07:00 AM ] pv im home # |
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